Who doesn’t love fingering?

Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end of it, fingering is one of the most pleasurable forms of foreplay or orgasm when done right. Most Vagina Owners cannot orgasm through penetration alone (around 80%) and need clitoral stimulation to achieve climax. When creating the correct persistent and rhythmic stimulation required to arouse the vulva, those without vaginas, as confident as they are, could all probably do with a bit of guidance and direction from those who do, especially with everyone’s bodies being so different. Here, you will find a few tips from our girls, and I (a certified lesbian) on becoming the best at fingering.

1. Basics – keep your nails short and clean. Rough, sharp jabbing usually leads to cutting or tearing the skin making for a sore and painful experience that takes a few days to heal. This also increases the risk of catching infections. Nimble and strong, the fingers make for the perfect tool to aid stimulation and orgasm. They can also efficiently respond to your playmate’s cues and alternate between the labia, the clitoris, the vagina and the sensitive skin between. Barging straight in there is also often a turn-off; the sudden change in temperature or rough textures can be irritating as well as painful.

• Feel free to experiment – whilst the clit gets all the press and rightly so with its 8,000 nerve endings and extending deep into the pelvic area and around the vagina, even allowing for g-spot orgasms with stimulation of the back-side of the clitoris. Other regions can get overlooked. The vulva includes the pubic mound, the inner and outer labia, the clitoris, vaginal opening and just beneath, the perineum. These are all sensitive, sensual and responsive to touch and deserve some experimenting. Play around, always starting soft, sensual and gentle and then by responding to cues or directions from your partner. 

• Lube will always be your best friend, whether this is natural or strawberry flavoured, but the slipperier your subject, the more sensual, more prolonged and satisfying your touch will be. 

• Feel free to throw in other aids, such as toys, vibrators and tongues. You can never be too equipped.

An example routine designed to succeed every time has been shared below:

With, on average, vagina’s needing at least 15 minutes of stimulation to reach an orgasm, slow and sensual stimulation is usually preferred, so really do feel free to take your time – slow and steady will always win the race. 

Begin slow and gentle, even more, gentle than you can imagine and then slowly and gradually increase your speed and sensitivity. This encourages blood to flow to your partner’s genitals and increase their arousal, making them more receptive to intense stimulation and pushing them closer to the edge of orgasm. As you build up the intensity, it is a good idea to work your way from the outside towards the clit. Touch, stroke and lick the outer areas, even the legs, thighs and lower abdomen; slide your hands beneath their backs and along their sides; light and teasing touch will help build up the sexual anticipation. 

If receiving a positive response, move your caresses in closer; to the pubic mound, labia and perineum, maybe slide your slippery fingers across the clitoris, keeping the touches light and teasing. As your partner’s arousal increases, focus on the areas, they respond best to and make your touches more rhythmic and consistent, possible rubbing a finger back and force or tracing a circle motion. Here, your partner’s cues are your guide. For ease, encourage them to tell you what they like and want more of. Don’t make decisions for them; don’t wait until they are breathless and about to cum, to decide to switch it up. I know you might think it’s sexy to keep them edging and denied, but it can just be annoying and a sudden turn-off. If you have got them to that place, keep them there and finish what you started. Unless told otherwise, of course. 

Now is an excellent time to bring in some toys, a vibrator that will aid consistency, and incorporate some inside-finger play. Test the waters or ask your partner before you do and slowly slip in a finger or two – tracing the hole is always a winner. Trying a circular, swirly motion at the very opening increases sensitivity, or maybe some g-spot stimulation. You can find this 2-3 inches inside the front wall of the vagina; it is spongy and swells during sex. The most commonly used motion is the middle, and ring finger pushed back and forth. Slip your fingers in, across the g-spot and then back up and over the clitoris. Or use the rest of your hand to caress and massage the clitoris and labia while your fingers are moving in and out. Get your partner to help; they take care of the clit while your massage their g-spot. As your partner moves closer towards an orgasm, their breathing will increase and their body tense up, maybe writhing as their moans grow louder and louder. Speed it up and keep doing what your doing – NO sudden changes. Soon enough, you will have reduced your partner to a messy, writhing, breathless heap and I won’t even try and take the credit for it ;o)

Love, Olivia xx